After three full on, dramatic, eventful and emotional years of being on the Dessert Club and nurturing it, the time to let go crept up all too suddenly. I’ve been preparing myself for the end of my undergrad academic days, looking forward to the end of exams and the start of summer, fresh, clean air with shards of soft sunlight and days of lazing on the grass. But somehow, the prospect of letting go of this baby never quite crossed my mind. Until today.
You always read about periods of transitions and the indescribable emotions that are intricately laced through it. But now I fully understand. It’s not sadness, but you can’t say with certainty that it’s not. After all, it was three drilling, sweat dripping full years of investment into this… club. It occupied 75% of my uni life. And now, I feel like a mother having to let go of her child. Letting this child to fly off, under the guidance of others who may or may not invest as much as we did into it.
It’s partly proudness. If somebody asks me what my biggest achievement in uni is, I would say reviving Dessert Club and through Dessert Club, building up a platform on which people can (and have made) make life long friends and share memories with. I would say, learning how to organize events and deal with people as well as unforeseen situations and surviving hardships and conquering them. I would say, seeing Dessert Club grow from a scrawny, teary chick to a fully fledge, beautiful bird. And along with that, seeing the people that managed the club grow event after event, month after month. And I would say, through Dessert Club, finding out what I’m passionate about and what I potentially would like to do as a career.
It’s also regret. Regret in things that I have planned to do, but because of time or other circumstances, forgot about or did not manage to achieve. Regret in not making the most out of it, such as taking the time out to really get to know people, talk to them and listen to them. There was a world full of opportunities and people out there, yet I did not really get to meet people due to stress or exhaustion from organization.
It’s a sense of relief. Seeing how far Dessert Club has come and how much it has achieved in these three years, I finally feel like it is time to move on. I feel the gush of freedom, the tingling excitement that’s swimming through my soul, the spring under my feet that cannot wait to be let go of. My toes, along with my whole body, soul, spirit are begging to be driven into new waters. My eyes want to explore new sights and my mind wants to feel new challenges.
I am also very grateful. Grateful for that fine day where Suzy and I decided to check out this Dessert Club. Grateful that although initially awkward and difficult, our appointment as co-presidents gave us this amazing opportunity to develop not only the club, but also ourselves. Grateful that through DC, we scored a free ‘training ground’. Although voluntary and pay-less, what I gained from these three years are invaluable, and worth more than any amount of money can buy.
And I am hopeful. Hopeful that DC will survive under new but determined hands. Hopeful that all the fun starts, rather than ends here. Hopeful that my dreams and plans will come into fruition sometime in the next 5 if not 10 years.
I guess this is what life is about isn’t it? Moving, changing, keep going, turning, running, moving, going…
- Buddha (via makes-me-smile)